Though this piece of advice from mom sounds like a blunt paradox to the age-old saying “First Impression is the best impression”, it has helped me to achieve my life’s most important goal viz. ‘Finding my life partner’.
This advice my mom used to thrust in my ears whenever I was prejudicial of my new neighbor or friends’ demeanor. Though I rejected it in the first instance, my life’s various encounters proved that the advice given by her from her innate wisdom was not only apt but helpful as well for me.
In a series of bride-watching (vernacular term used to describe the process of an arranged meeting between the bride and groom along with the parents ) encounters, I met Chanthini. My impression of her after seeing a lone home in midst of an enormous plantation, a series of parked cars, and a big home was that of a pampered, spendthrift, and dominating girl. But somehow she struck a rapport with me. Though we were meeting for the first time we shared a unique camaraderie, as though this moment belonged to us and no one else.
But my impression of her had made a lasting impact on my choice, for I was looking for a loving and simple person, with whom I can age gracefully and peacefully. Then I kept asking myself, “Why should I reject her just because of a mere impression I have? What if I am wrong? Rejecting Chanthini would be the worst mistake of my life then. What if… what if as mom says always ‘First impression is not the best impression’ is true?”. So I went ahead with my decision to say yes to her only to realize that she had said yes to her parents even before me.
Today nearly 3 years into the marriage she turned out to be the simple and loving person whom I was looking for with whom not only could I age gracefully and peacefully, but delightfully as well.
And Chanthini, being a mom now, is waiting to pass on this precious advice to our little daughter, Norah.

Me with my mom taken at Mahabalipuram, Chennai, India.